I didn’t even know your name

Here I am laying in bed with 3 little humans surrounding me. Oden and Gideon on each side of me and you just my arms length away on your own little bed.

As I held your hand, singing the three of you lullabies until there were only light breaths to be heard.. not tears being wept.

I accepted that placement call in minutes and within a few hours you were at the door. That’s when I realized I didn’t even ask for your name. A little boy stood in the doorway to our kitchen grasping the hand of a man he didn’t know.

And he introduced you.

Before I could even process he was gone and there you were. Standing amongst my boys.

This is what we literally signed up for. Hours of paperwork, trainings and visits lead us to this moment. A little boy standing in our kitchen with no info on his life, where he belongs or what to do with him.

And so we just love him. We treat him the same as our boys. Meals, play and evening routines.

Then bedtime comes.

And no one could ever prepare you for the heart break that is listening to a tiny voice crying out for his family. Not even knowing who the humans he is desperately crying out for are. So I hold him and comfort him and pray that a day very soon he will get to hug his “mama”.

I don’t know why I was pulled to return that call, but I did. And I quickly accepted the placement, without even knowing your name.