an open letter to our son

Sweet Boy,

We watched your milestones, rocked you to sleep, kissed booboos, cheered you on through every accomplishment, and guided you to be the sweet, intelligent little boy you are today.

We felt heartbreak when we thought you wouldn’t return to your birth mother. Then felt heartbreak when we thought maybe you would. With each update a whirlwind of emotions would come over me. I cried so many tears over the last two years. Conflicted with you not being with biological family or not being in my arms. I remember crying on the way to your first doctors appointment on the second day you were in our care at only four days old. Thinking about how I wish your mom could be the one taking you.

We prayed so hard that the choices made for you were what was right no matter the outcome.

I couldn’t imagine our life without you in it now. The way you say please mommy or call for me from your bedroom when you’ve woken up. The little arms wrapped tightly around my neck hugs and sweet little peck kisses. The way you light up saying “daddy’s home!” When you see the truck pull in the driveway. How you kiss your baby brother on the head and say “it’s okay D” when he cries or when you share your toys and snacks.

We watched you grow from a tiny babe to a little boy, fearless and so funny right before our eyes. You picked up mannerism and expressions from us. You have features of them. What a beautiful mix.

Our lives would be very different today if it weren’t for a 6lb baby boy being placed into my hands that day two years ago. You’ve taught me so much about being a mother. How protecting someone with your entire being and loving them even more was something only a parent can experience.

So thank you. Thank you for being patient with me as we learned this together. Thank you for changing the way I look at life. Thank you for showing me just how deep love can go.

But the day is finally here. The day you no longer are a part of the fostercare system.

The mix of emotions is just unbelievable. Our family has considered you ours since the day you were placed into my arms even if it meant that you would be reunited with your birth mother.

While you were in our home you were family.

Today we mourn the loss of biological family but we celebrate the love we have for you. A courtroom of people standing behind us as they have for two years now.

We were blessed to be a part of your journey at all.

Sweet boy, today you become a Shaw, but the truth is, you were one all along.🤍