Foster Hurt

It’s been nearly 9 months since babe came to live with us at just a few days old. It baffles me to realize it’s truly been that long already.

In these 9 months he has learned to roll over, sit up, lay himself from seated to belly, snail crawl with a one leg assist. He has tried over 100 different foods where fruits are his all time favorite. He takes 3 naps a day and has a 7pm bedtime. He LOVES animals of all kind but especially our Aussie, Ronin. He likes to make noise with both his voice and objects. He loves straws but has no idea how to use one yet, although we are getting there with practice and exposure! He drinks well from an open tiny cup and can almost feed himself with a spoon. His pincher grasp is perfection. He prefers dog toys and random objects like his toothbrush, plastic lids, wipes and baby bottle caps over actual baby toys. He says mumumum and bababab.

As I tell you all of these wonderful things about this sweet little boy I want you to realize you now know more about him than his biological family does.

And that’s just the beginning of the hurt when it comes to foster care.

Each case is different, the children, the parents and the circumstances are all vastly different.

BUT the common factor is foster care is beautiful and painful at the exact same time.

For every new thing he learns, every new experience he has that we get to share in my heart simultaneously shatters for his mother and ultimately for him.

We still don’t know the definitive end for babe. The goal is still reunification with mom. Sometimes that’s the happy ending and sometimes the “happy ending” is the alternative.

In the end no one “wins”. There is a happy and a sad to every outcome now.

If he’s able to return to mom he loses the family he has known since just days old. He will forever carry pieces of us in his being with mannerisms, quirks and love.

If he isn’t able to return to mom he loses the family that created his life.

Selfishness makes our hearts want to hold him forever.

Knowledge and experience tells us returning to mom in a fit environment allows for prime development especially mentally as he will not know the “what ifs” of mom not getting him back.

For every happy ending there is an equal sadness.

This is why foster care is tough.

But also the most beautiful thing we can sacrifice… no matter the end results🤍